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Camping with my Beautiful Girlfriend Kyla

Camping with my Beautiful Girlfriend Kyla


throughout the summer of 2020 here in
New Zealand we managed only one road trip I feel ashamed saying that but it
took us a few months to settle back into our life here now more comfortable Kyla
mentioned that we should go to the beach before winter and I remembered curio bay
you might know of it if you saw my film the Dolphin winner of the gullable Film
Festival it is this magical little Bay home to the Hector dolphins and yellow
eyed penguins even more impressive in my opinion is that it’s home to the
Petrified Forest nearly 180 million years old at the beginning of this trip I decided
I would make this film using only the iPhone 11 sometimes it can be rather
painful to document my travels is using a big bulky DSLR just ask Kyla her arms
are exhausted within 20 seconds of trying to hold the damn thing and it
always seems to attract a lot of unwanted attention but with the
incentive that Kyla is a black belt in the art of handling phones I thought we
should give the iPhone a try to get from Queenstown to curio bay you
are looking at about a three hour drive through charming small towns and rolling
farms on some of the most pristine single lane highways in the world I tell
people all the time when they ask why like New Zealand so much they have the
most uncomplicated most beautiful least traveled roads that I have ever found and to our joyful surprise we noticed
the roads lined with yellow dandelions for kilometres I imagine they were
intentionally bound on the highway for pleasureful driving experience but after
studying the patches of grass not inhabited by livestock it was undeniable
I was mistaken and the Southland of New Zealand has a
dandelion epidemic on their hands we deemed it’d be best to eat right away
after arriving at Curio Bay as we could decompress and settle in this makes me
feel like I’m having a good coffee when it comes to we parked up at campsite
number four and Kyla converted our car into a bed chamber within two minutes
where she napped for the next two hours it seems that watching the dandelions
had tuckered her out this left me to explore the campsite on my own something
that didn’t seem right without Kyla which is why I proceeded to come back
and check on her to see if she was conscious and ready to explore it was
windy as hell but on the other side of the peninsula it was relatively tame and
accepting of my solitude I brought out my book down under by Bill Bryson and
read a few pages and then I thought I know what would get Kyla up so I
wandered back to the car free to our new Kmart chilly bin and took
out some roasted garlic bagel crisps the instant I cracked the bag Kyla’s head
popped up and she was finished with her nap and eager to explore you smell garlic too after putting down
a Harrington’s Pilsner we roamed down to the beach to discover people pointing
at the ocean they had spotted some hectors dolphins swimming towards the
shore Hector’s dolphin is the world’s smallest
and rarest dolphins with mature adults averaging four feet six inches just
imagine those body sized fluffy stuff animal like dolphins you get your local
fair and as I was just recently informed I work with the great-great-grandson
of Sir James Hector the first man to examine the dolphin and give its name
Sir James Hector didn’t discover the dolphin as the Maori people have roamed
Curio Bay dating back to 1000 AD and have their own name for the dolphin actually
three names – tupoupou, popoto, and my favorite, tutumairekurai. so these are like their
streets yeah believe it or not something far more exciting to Kyla and I were
these snail colonies scattered around these rock pools were heaps of them you reckon? the gangsters?
I feel like that’s where all the gangsters are we ruled them on their purpose, their
culture, their neighborhood and their floral abundance or lack thereof we
classified them as deprived or prosperous you might assume we were
having too much fun but I believe it was the perfect amount of fun oh dude that
satisfying as he’ll. We spent a satisfying hour or so savoring the beach wandering
around like children delighted by a stones behavior if you stepped on it it
was the exact experience we wanted from this trip to experience something as
mundane as driving a pebble into the sand on the beach
surely no wind and a more summery ocean would be kind but this is New Zealand
it’s just a five-hour flight away from Antarctica
so with that reasoning the water must always be cold right? after frolicking about we made our move
to the Petrified Forest at first we were a tad unsure of what we were staring at
but after studying the information panel I was fascinated about 180 million years
ago known as the middle Jurassic period there was a dense forest thriving here
around that time there was substantial rainfall that fell on neighboring
volcanoes which produced rivers of ash the rivers made their way down the
volcanoes and swamped these forests because the ash in the rivers was rich
in silica the petrification process began transforming the wood into stone
finally years of pounding by the sea have worn away soil to explain the
fossilized trees and for someone who admires trees as much as I do this was
an absolute treat. sorry I’m still focused on these trees
for that are 170 million years old I mean come on look at their even they even
look like stumps bro. dude dinosaurs roamed amongst these trees right here think
about that that’s amazing just behind the Petrified Forest is another forest
originated from the same species of trees but still living
upon entering kyla recognized a friendly New Zealand fantail which had her
overjoyed fantails are a Kiwi staple and this is the first time we’ve
encountered one we had no idea why but this fantail took a great liking to us
it would race by our heads bop by our arms and land two feet from us it was
unlike any bird encounter I’ve had it didn’t reflect any linear path and
proceeded to bob and twist every few seconds in random directions I believe
its behaviour can be best described as jolly good but after reading some anecdotes from
encounters with the fantail our experience was shared it’s thought that
fantails accompany humans on paths because we will stir up the soil so they
can prey on the rising insects and the intention behind bobbing up and down is
to intercept insects fluttering around furthermore in Maori mythology the
fantail or piwakawaka as they call it is responsible for bringing death
into the world this I found to be ironic walking through the living forest
doesn’t make any sense man he’s just like the most jolly bird in the world just like the Petrified Forest I find
the living forest to be a perfect gift New Zealand’s flora is my favourite of
anywhere I’ve been just this small forests had me believing I was strolling
through a scene in Jurassic Park til I recognized I was only in New
Zealand after observing a wild Felicia as far as walks in the forest go this
one held my attention throughout it starts green and vibrant and gently
morphs into a gloomy depressed Bush you wouldn’t imagine that the flora could
vary so drastically within a few steps but that’s New Zealand around every
corner is something entirely unexpected and fortunately after completing the
short loop track we bumped back into our little friend it is quite apparent how
rapturous he was to recognize us this time because he nearly crash-landed on
my head with about an hour of sunlight
we elected to head back to camp and start up those delightful vegan burgers
I was narrating about earlier thankfully we bought this budget table and camping
chairs at Kmart before we left Queenstown otherwise we’d be settled on the cold
earth oh and we have got some vegan chicken burgers sorry it’s a mixed leave
it looks like what else did you put on there I just come prepared with smoked
paprika coriander and I’ve got a pot and our bowls you know not enough chocolate
honestly cooking burgers on a pot oh it boiling
them come on that’s that’s not that’s not gonna work Salmonella or a bunch of other diseases oh baby
yeah if you were doubtful Kyla and I are actually quite aware that we are highly
skilled plant-based chefs our plant-based creativity is simply on
another level and we apologize for not sharing our talents with you on a more
routine basis this will change someday when we begin a new series on the
channel called cooking vegan with Ryan and Kyla and you will all love it and if
not keep it to your self after entering a food coma I managed to
journey up the hillside to observe the sunset for a while I wish to spot a
whale off in the distance but like any other moment you scan for whales I
recognized there was no hope instead I relished what I had which is
an incredible view with a gradient of colors if it weren’t for the winter-like
conditions developing at the end of summer I would have remained longer but
I retreated to the car in favour of warmth with the Sun going down we played
the card game war because Kyla had never played before which is incredible if you
ask me I warned her this game takes forever to finish and we played for 2
hours and nobody won woke up to this this morning. one of my
new year’s resolutions was to establish a habit of exercise in my life the
intention is to get in shape and then stay in shape and to hold myself
accountable I’ve entered the Lake Hayes half marathon in April and the
Queenstown full marathon in November it’s been two months so far and I’ve
recognized the most beneficial time to go for a run is just after I wake up
Kyla decided she would join me as well and after 30 seconds I didn’t see her
again for another hour I’ve hit a little roadblock hoppin the river instead I ran with John
Lennon Elton John Bob Dylan and Moderat for about eight kilometers and
throughout the last kilometer of my run I put on running on empty by Jackson
Browne and envisioned Forrest running all over America exhausted after my run
I did what any rational person would do after running beside an ocean crowded
with dolphins I only needed one minute before I had to
turn around and retreat my body nearly seized up from the cold water exposure
from my waist down I was achingly paralyzed I had noticed
that the surfers next to me were wearing wetsuits but I didn’t make much of it
I believed my heightened body heat from running would provide me my own little
wet suit how naive was I as I had anticipated I
trudged back to camp to find Kyla cheffing up some breakfast with Steve
the seagull. Oh yes Steve Thank You chef Kyla hey! good job. I’m gonna recycle this burger into
my belly you have something to say Look at that. and oh my god Jeds you’re the
man keep it up tell me how you make your macha how much coconut sugar do you put in cheers Steve I left you an orange there if you’re
gonna be greedy and maybe you don’t deserve to be over here. you didn’t
like it? Steve you couldn’t have it guys wasting all of our time with an early
jump on the day and a belly full of beans we packed up our possessions to
head off to Invercargill to do some thrifting as I was scrolling through thrift stores
to hit in Invercargill on Google Kyla came up and told me Ryan I think I
messed up Heres Steve hes saying bye to
us see you Steve so with the cooperation of the patient
Kiwi fellow that was working in the surf shop we had a working battery and we
were off to Invercargill as far as I’m aware Invercargill is known for oysters a
water tower incest and mutants genuinely honestly genuinely that’s what I’ve
gathered from people but after driving through no one informed me all the
streets were airplane runways the roads are so broad that a 747 can land on any
of these streets and no one would notice furthermore there is not one building
over two stories and everything concerning this town just feels off
almost like this town shouldn’t even exist and I know I’m speaking a lot of
smack here but the Kiwi people agree I’ve once overheard a Kiwi refer to Invercargill as the butthole of New Zealand with all this in mind we’ve abandoned
Curio Bay I know to come thrift shopping here because they possess some ten
thrift stores in the city and after driving from store to store it seems
rather appropriate that they have so many here i scavenged to find five books
that are on my reading list and Kyla struck gold and found quality thread for
her embroidery our afternoon in Invercargill was now a
success and we had only a two-hour drive remaining back to Queenstown the drive
was a hoot and can be best described when Kyla and I were going back and
forth on slogans for New Zealand highways we’d say New Zealand highways
if you don’t see the views you’re looking at sheep or New Zealand highways
welcome to death row or New Zealand highways just losts of livestock waiting
to be killed or New Zealand highways you won’t see a lamb I know these statements
are harsh but they would all factually represent New Zealand highways great now
after ending on a depressingly hilarious note thank you for watching check out
our Instagram pages at Ryan’slovely BookClub at Fattiefriend and at Ryanspurvis and if you’d like to support this channel check out my patreon page until
next time

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