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Struggling to Find Creativity

Struggling to Find Creativity

Hello, um, uhhh
Hi! I’m back!
You have probably noticed I haven’t uploaded in a while
Hmm… I’ve never said that before, have I now?! I mean most of the times when I take a break (which is basically between every single video)
it’s usually about a month long But this time I haven’t been on YouTube for
4 months? I think? Uhh..oh that’s not good.
I do this thing generally, around September to December where I just don’t post videos
I don’t know why! I do it every year, and I still don’t understand
why exactly I do it I just feel really uninspired at that time
(which has happened this year) I just had literally no idea what to make
and no idea what to post And I still kinda don’t but shhhh
I think the difference this year though was that I put so much pressure on myself to make content that was good and different from other things
and not to just make videos of me talking to the camera…talking about stuff
And that’s what I’m going to do today! How have I been recently?
I’ve been.. happy (relatively) During around September to…beginning of December
I was feeling really crap and sad all the time (which was not good)
But I’m feeling quite better now which is… good! Not great but I’m not completely sad every
single day to the point where I cry *small sniffly chuckle*
I’ve been very stressed out recently because of school..and stuff
Which I know I’m only… I’ve got 3 years left So I still have a lot of school left but it
is getting stressful I have my first set of exams this year
If you don’t know, in France we have 2 exams. We have the brevet, which is around 14/15
And we have the baccalauréat or the bac as most people call it, which is…
what’s… um… *counts on fingers* Which is 16-18… I think? It’s over 2 years.
This year I’m passing the first exams (which is the brevet) which are relatively very easy
We’ve already had the mock exams which I’ve done fine in
And generally they’re much harder than the actual exam
I have been feeling quite stressed out because of school… and revising and homework and having
to learn so many things *sounds of disgust/unhappiness/what the heck
was that* *sips tea* oh my gosh this tea is nice aww
I haven’t had this tea in a while and it’s really nice
I think it’s cranberry? *gasp* it’s so nice I haven’t been doing much recently… creative-wise,
which kind of sucks because I am a creative person
and if I don’t create things I feel very stressed out and anxious
and I haven’t really been creating that much recently and every time I’ve tried to create something,
I’ve given up half way in or just didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to
and that’s another reason, I think, I haven’t been uploading
Because I felt really uncreative, I put pressure on myself to be creative
and create something interesting but that made me feel less creative and then
made me feel worse so hopefully making a video will work! right..?
I’ve been listening to this singer called Melanie Martinez recently
SO MUCH, SO MUCH She’s kind of become my life
When I just discovered her, I actually painted this
I like it – it’s kind of cool I still think I’m gonna maybe make it better,
cos that kind of doesn’t look great yet I like it, it looks quite cool..right, right!?
Does it?! This is very, like, rambly and stuff but that’s
how I like it Not me when I’m editing because this will
be terrible to edit Ooh! Ooh! In December, the 18th I think?
I met a really good Internet friend called Amelle and that was great
We spent the day together and that was the first Internet friend I ever met
So that was really cool and AHH you’re great Hi, aww!
That day I also met Dodie, what? WHAT? She was in Paris at the time, and since we
kinda know each other We met and I, I, I, i-I..okay. I kind of freaked
out but oh my gosh Uh..picture! mm..ah. You can see I really haven’t changed that
much since the last video I’m still trash
I really love the Internet – it’s so cool that I can talk to, through this camera,
thousands of miles away and make friends on here and then meet them..WHAT?
That’s cool. My phone broke…again. But, like, for reals now.
It doesn’t work at, at all. When I turn it on, it either doesn’t turn
on or the screen just goes..blubekusblsj[vvbiuaerbgosi That’s a great description
We’ve ordered a new one though and it’s an iPhone so I’m a happy bee
It’s a 5S, in case you were wondering But that will arrive soon and AHHHH
There, there, child. THERE, THERE. Well this has been fun, hasn’t it?!
Have you done anything creative recently? What have you been up to?
Are you good? Is your mental health good? I hope it is.
Mine is fairly good right now, so that’s good. Good, good, good, good, good.
I’m going to go now – I don’t want this to go on for too long.
I probably won’t upload much – I hope I will! Probably won’t be that great though, so have

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56 thoughts on “Struggling to Find Creativity

  1. aaaaaaahhhh im so glad you're back and you're feeling good!!! dw about the brevet i'm sure you're gonna do gr9 โœจ (also you have very nice eyebrows wtf)

  2. those.eyebrows.are.on.fleek glad ur back keep creating in your own time we are always here – i say on behalf of your subscribers because i'm sure they're not arseholes who expect content every week

  3. [Oh dear god I wrote like a whole fucking novel up ahead]

    Hey bud! I can understand your stress about the Brevet, we've all been through there. And you've probably heard it a lot, but your Brevet actually doesn't matter that much! It's a qualification that only impacts you a lot if you want to leave school at the end of the year and go straight to the jobs factory! I'm like 99% sure they can't make you redo the year even if you fail it.

    Also, the Brevet is like super duper easy! Out of the three topics, there's usually one that's slightly above average-hard (for me it was Maths) and one that's laughably (the History exam asked me the dates of WWI, seriously). And it's not like it matters that much anyway, since half of the grade comes from your work throughout the year. I remember that I kept steady, above-average grades throughout the year, and this made it so getting a 8 was enough to pass! I ended up passing with the "Bien" mention, since the grades you get throughout the year basically just lower the bar for all of the mentions.

    Anyway, not trying to say your stress is unjustified. No matter how insignificant it is, the school finds plenty of ways to tell you that your life depends on it (when really it doesn't, the biggest thing you should worry about right now is knowing if you want a scientific, economics or literary path in 10th grade).

    As for the creativity loss, I understand completely. School has been taking over me and I have probably done, uh, literally nothing creative all year. But you're not a big enough channel for subscribers to start dropping as soon as you don't post a video like every two days. Those who matter don't mind. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be more creative, but you need to consider them as pastimes instead of burdens. If I ever find the time to start programming, I'll probably do it because I have time off, instead of considering it as something I absolutely need to take care of.

    Anyways, I haven't seen you in a while recently, I tend to hang in the big courtyard now so we can hang out more if you want. Take care of yourself!

  4. omg I MISSED YOUR VIDEOS SO MUCH awww but yes yes creativity is so difficult sometimes asdfghjkjhgfds GOTTA KEEP TRYING also I'm v v glad you're good rn <33

  5. The brevet's mock exams are actually much easier trust me ;))) You're gonna do well I have faith in you !


  6. Aaaaah, I just finished midterms a few days ago, but I think I failed like most of them, it's good that you're good though! โค๏ธ

  7. i only found your videos a little bit ago but im glad you are feeling better and good luck with your exams, i have one set this year then the rest next year, i'm in England tho so its quite different. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. This is the first video of yours that I've watched but I've been following you on twitter for a while now and omg your vids are so good! ๐Ÿ˜Š๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ˜Š๐ŸŒธ

  9. I'm soย glad you're back and happy ๐Ÿ˜€ ! I completely understand about the brevet, I'm doing my AS year in England atm which is the equivalent to the IB and am stressed af. dw about content, you are one of my favourites so I would legit watch you do anything ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Yeah, don't you just hate it when life gets in the way of YouTube? haha If you haven't yet, would you do a video on the French education system? What is the significance of the exams you are talking about. What does it do to a person to pass or fail them. (In case you ever need an idea for a video.) ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. It is always nice to hear from you. Your videos are so informative on how it is to live as a teen in France. Your Scottish accent is marvelous and so easy to understand. Hugs to you!

  12. everything you said is exactly how I feel, I deleted all my videos because I panicked that they went good enough, but it feels good knowing I'm not the only one thinking like this!!!

  13. I never met any other YouTubers (haven't been around for long either I guess), but as you said: it's so cool that you can connect with people anywhere in the world. Really the beauty of the medium ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. I have my prelims just now I had biology today. Theyre my practise exams which are my firs set of official qualifications in any subject. (im scottish so idk if you get what I mean)

  15. ayy you're back! eyebrows on fleek hair on fleek u on fleek matt, and i know exams are stress but try to remember the other parts of your life to make you happy!! (easier said than done bean ik i feel)

  16. your eyebrows are on fleek
    and so is your hair
    and your eyes
    and your mouth
    basically your face is on fleek you are a beautiful human being

  17. ah I'm so happy so see another video from you! I've also had a creativity crisis recently because I've been so busy with school and homework I haven't had time to make things, which just makes me feel generally not good

  18. That bit on creativity HIT A STRING IN MY HEART I RELATE TO THAT SO MUCH, I've missed your videos and I'm so glad you're doing pretty well, you are and always be an amazing creature ahhh

  19. hair on point eyebrows on fleek video just amazing sorry I didn't see this earlier but I hope you'll be getting back to uploading soon but take your time <3

  20. Hi!
    I'm French and I really enjoy your videos! It's the first time I hear a British person with such a good French pronunciation!
    Good job!

    PS: What is the music's name?

  21. I think you're the same age as me, haha. I'm Australian, and I'm learning French so I like that you tell us a little bit about it ๐Ÿ™‚

  22. i wish i could have found your youtube channel earlier, it really is great and so nice.
    when on twitter you were retweeted by dodie, i thought well lets follow them and i did. A few days later i realized OMG a yt channel, lets check it out. ANd here I am…. your videos give off such an warm feel and you are ofc pretty but also articulate and can sing and i just feel like you are like a kickthepj but more talkish and less weird (I LOVE PJ THO NO HATE). By this paragraph you will probably think im a weird kid and i am but i love your content and i hope you will keep making it, i subscribed <3.
    (ps: sorry im so awks)

  23. Omg I love France!! And you are so cute wtf. I want to be friends with you but I am very boring and never know what to talk about. Nice

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